Sunday, June 17, 2012
What Stay At Home Moms Want You To Know
Being a SAHM is a very, very difficult job. Don't ever let someone tell you that we have it easy. I always chuckle when a working mother says, "I wish I could stay home with my kids! You have the greatest job in the world! You get to sit around and play ALL DAY LONG!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Your delusional mentality warrants a stay in the looney bin. It's much harder than you think to try to balance all of your time between 2 kids, 2 dogs, and housework. If you can come to my house, and manage to go 2 hours without a dog barking, a baby crying, or a toddler throwing a fit over something insignificant, then you deserve an award. That's impossible in my home, unless it's the middle of the night, of course. That's about the only time my house is peaceful. Mind you, if the dogs even think they hear something suspicious, they fly off the handle, barking, and growling incessantly at 3 AM in an effort to protect their home and family. This not only infuriates me, but it wakes up everyone. And do you know who has to jump out of bed yelling at them to shut up, and console the kids? Yep, you guessed it, ME! It never fails. Every single time I attempt to get something done, such as making an important phone call, clean, or sit down to feed Anabelle, Paisley throws a massive Oscar worthy tantrum. Why? Because suddenly, the world is not revolving around her. The toddler years are beyond tough. Babyhood is bliss, unless you have a colicky infant. They eat, they poop, they play, and they sleep. Paisley fights me tooth and nail on just about everything. Meals, diaper changes, sitting on the potty, TV, music, getting dressed, etc. Not to mention, we only have one car, so I don't have the option of jumping in the car, and getting out of the house when I please. I don't ever catch a break. Ever. Anabelle is only content in Ray's arms for about 5 minutes, before she is crying, and stretching her arms out for me to pick her up. She's much happier just to look at Ray from a distance. Paisley was the same way, not really wanting much to do with her Daddy until she was around 18 months old. At that point, the moment he woke up, he became the portable human jungle gym, until he left for work. Then, all hell broke loose, because Paisley didn't understand that Mommy physically could not do it. I have severe back problems. Try explaining that to a toddler. When Paisley was 5 months old, I fell down a flight of stairs at my grandmother's house, and ended up with a herniated disk above my tail bone. With much wear and tear from kids and dogs, it ruptured, leading me to back surgery when Anabelle was only 7 weeks old. I have recently been informed by my orthopedic that once you have a disc removed, it's only a matter of time before you have to have another surgery. Spinal fusion, quite possibly, in my case. I can't file for disability, because I'm not considered disabled. When I talked with my doctor about it, his response was, "Can you sit for at least 15 minutes? Can you stand for at least 15 minutes?" I answered, "yes" to both questions, and he informed me that I would not qualify. I wish, oh how I wish that I could go back to work. But, it's not that simple. Even if I did, I would only make enough money to put one child in day care, not both. So, what's the point? I'm going to work my ass off and end up putting all my money into childcare. That defeats the purpose. I could work a graveyard shift, but when the hell am I supposed to sleep? I would love to be able to find a work at home scheme on the internet, but I honestly don't know when I would find the time for it. I barely have enough time in the day to give both children, and dogs adequate attention, plus get the house somewhat decent looking, and cook on top of that. Paisley is like a hurricane. Every room that she moves through, she manages to destroy it in a matter of minutes. As soon as I clean up all her crap off of the floor, and grab the broom to sweep, she has turned all her toys baskets upside down, and covered the floor in books and toys. Thanks, kid, I sincerely appreciate it. "Put it all back. Now.," I say. She does help me from time, to time. Just not when I ask for it. In order to achieve that task, I have to put things away at molasses speed, and wait for her to jump in. By the time I get one child quiet, my other one starts up. If both kids are quiet, then one of my dogs starts giving me hell. By the time both kids are in bed and asleep, I lye down on the sofa, and let out a long sigh. At that point, I don't want to look at or talk to ANYONE, because for the last 13 or so hours, I have walked the floors with a baby on my hip (or secured in the Baby K'Tan wrap), and a toddler clinging to my leg with a death grip screaming because I won't pick her up. So, now let me ask you.....Do you really want to stay at home with your kids? This may seem like one long bitchy complaint. Partly, yes. I'm lonely. I talk to a 5 month old, and a 3 year old all day. I love my children with all of my heart. I do enjoy being able to witness all those first moments. I just want a break once in a while. Some 'mommy time', if you will. A day where I can lock myself in a hotel room, and order room service all day long, stuffing myself to the gourd, with no crying/screaming/tantrums/barking in the background. Is that too much to ask? For now, yes, it is. In the future? I hope it's not a long stretch.